Did you know the word "wine" has been around since before the 12th Century?  Swing by Merriam-Webster and that's what they'll tell you there.  
Middle English win, from Old English wīn; akin to Old High German wīn wine; both ultimately from Latin vinum wine, perhaps of non-IE origin; akin to the source of Greek oinos wine  First Known Use: before 12th century
Know what else was happening around and about that time in history?  Aside from things like the Knights of the Round Table, the burning of witchesgothic art and medieval music?  Seems Christians created the notion of the existence of purgatory.  Let that roll off your tongue.  Purrr-gahhh-torrrr-eeeeeee.  Come on now, people.  Wine?  That's it?  We drink glasses of wine today because some old Latin dude called this stuff "vinum?"

You're telling me that hundreds of years ago, folks would invest all of that time tending to grapes, harvesting crops, and stomping on vats full of slimy rotting fruit - and the end result of all of their trouble was ...wine?  Isn't a word like wine more of a whimper?  A hiccup?  A burp?  
Origin of PURGATORY Middle English, from Anglo-French or Medieval Latin; Anglo-French purgatorie, from Medieval Latin purgatorium, from Late Latin, neuter of purgatorius purging, from Latin purgare
See, I totally get purgatory.  The act of purging.  Squeezing out the bad stuff.  You know if you squeeze anything that's been rotting at the back of your fridge the laws of gravity are bound to kick in.  That overripe rotting whateveritwas is going to drip or ooze or plop in one direction.  Downwards.  So any rotten scoundrels deserve a purgatory.  Go ahead and purge the bloody hell out of them.  I'm game.  But wine still doesn't quite sit right with me.  It doesn't make any sense.  I mean, these guys were surrounded with names like "Babylon" and "Mesopotamia."  They had kids with names like "Bartholomew" and "Beatrix."  

"Wine."  Are you serious?  That's it?

What if we had to come up with a name for wine today?  I mean, these days we've got fancy names for drinks like "Redbull" and "Venti Mocha Frappuccino."  I don't think "wine" would even make the cut.  Even the World Meteorological Organization could come up with a better name for wine than "wine."  These guys have already dreamed up names for this year's crop of Atlantic Tropical Storms.  Names like like "Humberto," "Lorenzo," and "Jerry."  

Host:  What can I get you?
Heather:  I'll have a glass of jerry, please.
Host:  Red or white?
Heather:  Red, I suppose.  A nice full-bodied red jerry.  Everyone on my Facebook page is telling me to stick with a nice red jerry.  That is, of course, if you think he'll fit in my glass.

You know, if we were to go back to the original source, back to where it really all started, I should really be looking into Merriam-Webster's definition for grapes.  Where did the word "grapes" come from in the first place...?
Middle English, from Anglo-French grape grape stalk, bunch of grapes, grape, of Germanic origin; akin to Old High German krāpfo hook
Whoa.  In hindsight, I suppose "wine" isn't so bad after all.  Seems if the Germans had their say, we could be toasting with glasses full of krap!

Chang Bhala,

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